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Rock Tales
#97-Jay
Vaquer
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- In 1970 we had a band called FANE, Bill French on drums,
Manfred Rackow on bass, Larry Fox on keyboards, and me on
guitar. We went to Belem, Para, Brazil, which is at the mouth of
the Amazon River. My wife's relatives had a country farm about
30 miles from the city, into the jungle, which was ours to
rehearse and live in and on the weekends we would go into town
and play gigs. The house was surrounded with tropical fruit
trees (my favorite was the cashew fruit) and there was a spring
fed lake at the end of the property line. A servant family lived
on the property. The woman cleaned and cooked for us and her
husband kept the yard and fresh drinking water in a large clay
filter. There was an old hand water pump outside but the water
did not flow through the plumbing system. We would defecate into
plastic bags and throw them out into the jungle and take baths
in the spring. Hey, we were in the Amazon jungle. In the
afternoons we would rehearse and some locals would bring beer,
sit in our front yard and listen. One day a young boy had just
captured a three-toed sloth. We bought it for a dollar and it
became our household pet. We named him speedy and he entertained
us for hours. We would lay in our hammocks on the front porch
and tie Speedy to one of the posts, which was about twelve feet
high. It would take Speedy a good forty-five minutes to reach
the top where he would hook his claws together and hang upside
down. A low metabolic rate equals super slow motion. After being
there about two weeks, Jane's (my ex's) dad came to take us into
town for our first gig. We thought we sounded pretty good both
Friday and Saturday nights even though the locals reacted to us
as if we had just arrived from deep space. On Sunday night,
Jane's dad took us home and on the way asked me how I liked
jungle life. I said I was grateful for the electricity but
missed running water. When we got to the house he took me to the
well pump. Next to it was a lever, all you had to do was pull
the lever, pump and the water was diverted to a water tank on
the roof of the house which, when full, the hydrostatic pressure
would operate the toilet, shower, etc. Duh? After he left, I
thought about those plastic bags and sought consolation with
Speedy, who was no where to be found. The next day, Jane
discovered, from the maid, that some neighbors down the way had
taken Speedy and, ate him for Sunday dinner. I waited until
three o'clock in the morning, then I rolled my 200 watt Marshall
stack out onto the front porch. With the volume on 10, I didn't
play any notes, only feedback and weird noises for a good hour,
Speedy's epitaph. I'm sure my message traveled for miles through
the jungle. The next day, no one came to our rehearsal and we
filled the water tank.
Rock lesson #97-Woman who fly upside down have hairy
crack-up.
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LEGAL
DISCLAIMER
All sounds, images, video, and graphics are a Copyright ©
of Jay Vaquer Press. Any use or reproduction without
expressed prior written consent could result in legal action or an
extensive full-body cavity search.
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